remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
