A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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