Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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