your thong is hanging out like whoa
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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