Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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