Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
