I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
