Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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