the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
