On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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