i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
