just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
