I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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