I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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