did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
