She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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