I only kidnapped one of them. chill
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
