To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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