**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
