so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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