Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook

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(815): View more from Illinois

you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.

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(816): View more from Missouri

If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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(925): View more from California

the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.

Fav 3 1082 626
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(623): View more from Arizona

One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.

Fav 2 1494 565
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(360): View more from Washington

So much rum. So many feels.

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(207): View more from Maine

I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.

Fav 2 13 31
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god

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