I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
