Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize