Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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