it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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