just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize