the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
17 year olds will be the death of me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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