Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
