I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
