Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your mouth is God's brothel.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
