Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
