I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
