i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Did I show you my penis last night?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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