No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
