these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I am available for nakedness
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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