if you like me you must not know who I am
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We need to rekindle our bromance
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
