So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
