TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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