we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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