so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
