sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
