are you still at the devil's house?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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