sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
