dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
