Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
