are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
