i dedicated my morning wood to you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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