East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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