That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
