don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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