I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
