he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize