Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
