I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
