TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
