sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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