Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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