is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you had me at cake vodka
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
