We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize