are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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