were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
